Don't look too soon, but it might be an upswing

Today I completed approximately 4 hours of work. Hooray!! I am not a cube drone who is completely unproductive for 8 hours a day! I don't want to get too excited or anything, this may simply be a fluke in the system that is designed to torture me daily, OR it might be a sign of happiness and butterflies and sunshine things to come! I choose to believe the latter and will continue on with positive thinking for the day.

As I was driving home for lunch this afternoon, singing along at the top of my lungs to Taylor Swift (who I firmly believe is a poor singer, but I do love those 16-year-old-high-school-girl-who-just-got-and-lost-my-first-boyfriend-blues-but-oh-wait-now-I-like-another-one-so-life-DOES-go-on lyrics) I got to thinking about how negative I have been lately. I recalled a specific instanch in which Lee, my parents, and I were at a friends house for a 1st birthday party. We were all standing around talking and as I recalled the conversation, everything that came out of my mouth was blah this or blah that, boo, boo, boo. (It it just me, or do other people recount past events over and over, in their precise entirety? I think that this is more of a woman-thing than an Ashley-thing) Anyway, my memory was disturbing to me because I have never been the negative nancy, and the things I was complaining about were ridiculous things that I have allowed myself to dwell on over the past 6 months. AND I was blaming a lot of things on my soon-to-be-hubby that really I shouldn't do because all he's really doing is telling me the truth that I don't want to tell myself. And it was in front of friends and my parents and I should apologize to him. Man oh man, when did I become such a downer? As soon as I got to work I went straight to my computer and added another goal to my list for 2009: Accept what I have at the moment and be grateful. I really have no reason to complain about anything. I have a good job, which maybe I don't enjoy, but it's a good one and right now I should just be thankful to have one at all. I have a great family and loving finace who accepts my irrationality, and we have the two best, cutest, cuddliest doggies in the world. We have a home and it may not be my dream home but it is pretty cute. And we are getting married this year! Finally!! I am going to be so happy when it finally gets here because I feel like we have been planning this thing forever! If you seriously asked me today if we would have had the same wedding knowing what I know now, I would say no. I would go away with just family and a few friends. No lie. (For the record, I'm thinking more beach than Vegas, but still)

Other 2009 goals that I have (NOT recolutions, GOALS):
- Go to church every Sunday!!
- Get back to my pre-Lee body. Maybe it's just a coincidence, but I totally packed on the lbs. when we started dating.
- Limit my frivilous spending
- Pay off credit cards
- Do NOT stress out about the wedding!
- Get my real estate license by December

There will be a mid-year checkpoint of goal progress, but I'm hoping for success in all areas.

The OU-Florida game is tonight. Please pray for our house. If OU doesn't play to Lee's standards, he might bust a hole through the floor as a result of the child-like actions he *sometimes* has. I would elaborate, but Lee would (ahem, should) be embarrassed of how he acts during games. That's why he won't go anywhere else to watch them. Lol. True story.